{"id":117675,"date":"2016-01-19T19:41:46","date_gmt":"2016-01-19T19:41:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/01\/19\/kittydesade-readingdidyoumeanbreathing\/"},"modified":"2016-01-19T19:41:46","modified_gmt":"2016-01-19T19:41:46","slug":"kittydesade-readingdidyoumeanbreathing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/01\/19\/kittydesade-readingdidyoumeanbreathing\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

kittydesade<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

readingdidyoumeanbreathing<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

musicalluna<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

samurljackson<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

betweenthepage<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

readingdidyoumeanbreathing<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

thecheekynerdgirl<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

readingdidyoumeanbreathing<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

The reason I like reading a book in one day is because I love watching people look at the size of the book in pure horror and then back at me like I just became terrifying in their eyes<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I had a guy in highschool look at me one day and go, \u201cwhy do you have a different book every other day? Why not just read one??\u201d I just kind of paused and said, \u201cthey\u2019re different because I read them and get a new one?\u201d And he made this face <\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

these are the moments i live for<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

THE SECURITY GUARD AT MY JOB IS ACTUALLY SCARED OF ME BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFERENT BOOK WITH ME EVERYDAY. HE SAYS ITS NOT NATURAL.
HAHAHA GOOD<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the second day after my ship\u2019s change of command ceremony, i see the new cap come around the corner so i call attention on deck and everyone freezes and clears the way.<\/p>\n

he walks past me and i\u2019m about to relax but then he, stops, backs up and looks me up and down. i\u2019m sweating bullets because we knew nothing about what kind of a cap was he going to be like was my shirt untucked or something oh god what did i do now???<\/p>\n

and he just goes\u00a0\u201cwhere\u2019s your book?\u201d<\/p>\n

and i blink because i am a third class petty officer but a captain is still kind of terrifying and he\u2019s new and I DON\u2019T KNOW WHAT BOOK HE IS TALKING ABOUT is he a stickler do i need to have a copy of the bluejacket\u2019s manual on me at all times or what?<\/p>\n

so i screw up my courage and ask him,\u00a0\u201cmy book, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n

and he checks my name patch again and says,\u00a0\u201cyou\u2019re petty officer xxxx, you always have a book. where is your book? are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

like<\/p>\n

cap has been onboard for less than 24 hours HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS?<\/p>\n

(i mean, he\u2019s not wrong, i got a lot of shit from other senior personnel about the pocket on my uniform being stretched out because it always had a book in it.)<\/p>\n

but i have an answer and he\u2019s the new cap, so i give it:\u00a0\u201ci finished my last one and haven\u2019t had a chance to get to my bunk and grab a new one.\u201d<\/p>\n

and his eyes bug out<\/p>\n

shit<\/p>\n

i broke the new captain goddammit LT is gonna kill me<\/p>\n

and he goes\u00a0\u201cBUT YOU JUST STARTED THAT ONE YESTERDAY!\u201d<\/p>\n

and i\u2019m just staring back now like HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK OUR NEW CAP IS PSYCHIC OR SOME SHIT<\/i><\/p>\n

and because my brain has broken under the stress of this encounter i ask him<\/p>\n

and he\u2019s like\u00a0\u201ci saw you on the mess decks on my tour with [old cap] and you were on like page ten that book is like 400 pages how did you read it in one day?\u201d<\/p>\n

and i\u2019m like SHIT he\u2019s gonna be pissed because he thinks i was slacking because i read a\u00a0bigass book in one day fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK<\/i><\/p>\n

like this was not the first time i\u2019d gotten in trouble for reading when i was on watch or whatever but i had maintenance watches i\u2019m literally waiting for something to break\u00a0and my chief didn\u2019t mind<\/p>\n

BUT THIS IS THE CAP IF HE MINDS CHIEF\u2019S OPINION ISN\u2019T WORTH A FISH FART IN THE OCEAN<\/p>\n

and so i stammer,\u00a0\u201ci read a lot? so\u2026 i\u2026 i read fast?\u201d<\/p>\n

and he just stares and i don\u2019t know what the expression on his face means<\/p>\n

before i can process this though and come up with a new response, he\u2019s grabbing my shoulder and turning me and pushing me ahead of him where little baby petty officers do not walk because CAPTAIN\u00a0GOES FIRST<\/i><\/p>\n

and i\u2019m like\u00a0\u201cwelp this is how i end up in the brig i get to be the new cap\u2019s first captain\u2019s mast it was nice knowing everyone\u201d<\/p>\n

idk that or he\u2019s gonna throw me over the side honestly who knows my whole world was upside down at this point<\/p>\n

and then he starts talking<\/p>\n

he\u2019s like\u00a0\u201cgo get a new book what are you reading next did you like your last book tell your chief i sent you if he asks why you were gone what is your favorite genre and author have you ever read\u201d and basically escorts me to my berthing grilling me about books and everywhere we go people are staring and oh god i\u2019m going to die i am just going to die of shame and horror and this is it this is what takes me out does this count as dying for my country i don\u2019t even know<\/p>\n

and that\u2019s how we learned that our new cap was married to a librarian and an avid reader and was not going to have an illiterate crew, dammit.<\/p>\n

i never caught shit for having a book in my back pocket or reading on watch again. \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

this is so cute i love you so much im so jealous<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is the best story I have ever read, god bless<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

@archifist<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

kittydesade: readingdidyoumeanbreathing: musicalluna: samurljackson: betweenthepage: readingdidyoumeanbreathing: thecheekynerdgirl: readingdidyoumeanbreathing: The reason I like reading a book in one day is because I love watching people look at the size of the book in pure horror and then back at me like I just became terrifying in their eyes I had a guy in highschool look at … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[452,7211,4,458],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117675"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=117675"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117675\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=117675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=117675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=117675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}