{"id":116424,"date":"2016-01-28T22:04:43","date_gmt":"2016-01-28T22:04:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/01\/28\/finn-doesnt-balk-at-helping-out-whether-its\/"},"modified":"2016-01-28T22:04:43","modified_gmt":"2016-01-28T22:04:43","slug":"finn-doesnt-balk-at-helping-out-whether-its","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/01\/28\/finn-doesnt-balk-at-helping-out-whether-its\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"
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Finn doesn\u2019t balk at helping out, whether it\u2019s passing tools to Rey in the Falcon or aiding Chewie with his injuries. Finn doesn\u2019t talk over Rey or try to make choices for her. They may disagree and banter, but it\u2019s not barbed, and it\u2019s at an even keel. He looks out for himself, but not at the expense of others \u2013 when Finn decides to leave for the Outer Rim, he honestly tells Rey his story and how he feels about her, and asks her to come, and then accepts her refusal gracefully. He respects her decisions, her autonomy, and Rey as a person.<\/p>\n

Obviously Finn digs this girl \u2014 who wouldn\u2019t, she is undeniably The Coolest \u2014 and he does ask if she has a boyfriend early on, but after she says \u201cNone of your business,\u201d he lets it go. When he could sulk or tease or be possessive or rude toward her, he doesn\u2019t. He adores her, but is happy just to see Rey safe and well. He\u2019s not preoccupied with romance or feeling \u201cjilted,\u201d where another character might resent her for it. When she hugs him on the Starkiller Base, he doesn\u2019t turn lecherous or try to make a move. She owes him nothing, even when he risked his life to come to her aid, and he gets that! He\u2019s not a White Knight, Friend-Zoned, or a Nice Guy. He never tries to \u201ctake\u201d anything he wants when it comes to Rey. He doesn\u2019t view her as a thing to take\u2026.<\/p>\n

\nThe parallels between Finn and Kylo Ren are the most direct (and stark) in terms of toxic masculinity. Finn seems to reject this toxicity, whereas Kylo Ren is constantly hung up on performing and proving himself strong enough. They are opposites: especially evidenced by the way they treat Rey \u2013 how they define themselves against the chief female presence of the movie.<\/p>\n

\nLike Finn, Kylo Ren is also interested in and impressed by Rey. (And he also first meets her when she attacks him.) But instead of treating Rey like a person, Kylo acts out of aggression, objectification, and self-centeredness. He immediately immobilizes her, Force-faints her, and then carries her, bridal-style, to his ship: old-fashioned, exploitative, and gross. His language towards her is incredibly patronizing: \u201cSo this is the girl I\u2019ve heard so much about\u2026\u201d He proceeds to insult her friends and threaten and torture her: violating her mind, using her as a tool but also relishing the show of his own power and the taking of something personal by force. \u201cI can take what I want\u201d is simultaneously a threat, a statement of power\/entitlement, and a declaration of how Kylo fundamentally views Rey: an object, something controllable to serve his purposes. When the tables turn and Rey reads him, he is incredibly shaken by the subversion of his own authority and control, and when she escapes, he storms around looking for her in a blind rage, pursuing her with a weapon. Even as she\u2019s beating him in the ensuing lightsaber battle, he has the gall to mansplain her own power to her: \u201cYOU NEED A TEACHER!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

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Resistance, Caring, and\u00a0\u201cMask\u201dulinity: The Feminist Message of the Dudes in The Force Awakens<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n

I love how this article is in direct contrast with the nonsensical idea that Kylo Ren somehow respects Rey as an equal while because Finn took her goddamn hand, he\u2019s somehow the sexist one.<\/p>\n

(via faeriviera<\/a>)<\/p>\n

I am a Reylo shipper (much to my surprise), and this is 100% true, The interesting thing to me, as a fan and as a romance writer, is how much the Rey\/Ren dynamic relies on some SUPER old-school romance tropes (the bridal carry, the\u00a0\u201cI can take what I want\u201d (and make you like it, being the undercurrent there), etc. These are tropes that have mostly (and rightfully) passed out of favor in the genre, but make no mistake, they are\/were romance tropes<\/i>, and once upon a less-enlightened time, signified that A Great Romance was in the offing.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In that era of romance writing, the dynamic between men and women was very much a case of\u00a0\u201cwoman tames the savage beast and civilizes him with her love\/pure heart\/vagina, man introduces woman to world of (sexual and\/or material) wonders she\u2019s never known before, etc.\u201d And while if anybody pulled that shit on me IRL, I\u2019d slap a restraining order on him, fiction a whole\u00a0\u2018nother beast.<\/p>\n

The great part about the movie is that it rejects those old-fashioned and problematic tropes out of hand as being the tools of an unstable bad guy. The great part about fandom is that we can go back and play around with that\u2013twist it, play it straight, whatever.<\/p>\n

As someone who grew up reading books with titles like\u00a0\u201cSweet Savage Love\u201d and, like\u00a0\u201cThe Virgin and the Viking\u201d (I think I made that last one up), it\u2019s an utter delight to go back and play with those ideas from a modern perspective and give Rey the upper-hand which she so obviously has.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Finn doesn\u2019t balk at helping out, whether it\u2019s passing tools to Rey in the Falcon or aiding Chewie with his injuries. Finn doesn\u2019t talk over Rey or try to make choices for her. They may disagree and banter, but it\u2019s not barbed, and it\u2019s at an even keel. He looks out for himself, but not … <\/p>\n

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