{"id":111906,"date":"2016-02-29T20:29:22","date_gmt":"2016-02-29T20:29:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/02\/29\/froborr-roachpatrol-roachpatrol\/"},"modified":"2016-02-29T20:29:22","modified_gmt":"2016-02-29T20:29:22","slug":"froborr-roachpatrol-roachpatrol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/02\/29\/froborr-roachpatrol-roachpatrol\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

froborr<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

roachpatrol<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

roachpatrol<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

prokopetz<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

writebastard<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

prokopetz<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

Random Headcanon:<\/b> That Federation vessels in Star Trek<\/i> seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn\u2019t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it\u2019s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles,
\ntooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they
\ndon\u2019t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight
\nthem, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit
\nspace-magic countermeasures out of their arses – but they\u2019re as likely
\nas not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the
\nprocess. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and
\naccidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn\u2019t actually
\nhappen to anyone else; it\u2019s literally just<\/b> Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.
\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.<\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future<\/i> movies literally don\u2019t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They\u2019re just like \u201cyes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience\u201d.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE\u2019S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core<\/p>\n

humans: we\u2019re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast<\/p>\n

vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast<\/p>\n

humans: hahaha yeah<\/p>\n

humans: it did tho<\/p>\n

vsa: IT EXPLODED<\/p>\n

humans: it exploded twice as fast<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they\u2019re unique<\/em> wacky superscience shenanigans.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

froborr: roachpatrol: roachpatrol: prokopetz: writebastard: prokopetz: Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn\u2019t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it\u2019s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[19,13609,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111906"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111906"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111906\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}