{"id":111210,"date":"2016-03-05T19:41:53","date_gmt":"2016-03-05T19:41:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/03\/05\/professorfangirl-prokopetz-this-is-the-one\/"},"modified":"2018-09-03T04:15:55","modified_gmt":"2018-09-03T04:15:55","slug":"professorfangirl-prokopetz-this-is-the-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/03\/05\/professorfangirl-prokopetz-this-is-the-one\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-111210 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/03\/05\/professorfangirl-prokopetz-this-is-the-one\/attachment\/111211\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/tumblr_naopveMTYN1r77naio1_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/tumblr_naopveMTYN1r77naio1_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/tumblr_naopveMTYN1r77naio1_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/professorfangirl.tumblr.com\/post\/95832968399\" target=\"_blank\">professorfangirl<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/prokopetz.tumblr.com\/post\/95420023722\" target=\"_blank\">prokopetz<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>This is the one time of year that I love wasps.<\/p>\n<p>Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They\u2019re horrid little creatures year round. No, it\u2019s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.<\/p>\n<p>Now, if you don\u2019t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.<\/p>\n<p>The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.<\/p>\n<p>I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere &#8211; and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the \u201crawr, I\u2019ma fuck you up!\u201d routine for which wasps are known.<\/p>\n<p>The <strong>second<\/strong> thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.<\/p>\n<p>So: the wasps try to come at me, <strong>but they\u2019re too drunk to fly<\/strong>. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps I\u2019m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.<\/p>\n<p>Fucking wasps.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:<\/p>\n<p><img src=\"https:\/\/78.media.tumblr.com\/a41cea1227b062bb5187ce6d6ef04b05\/tumblr_inline_naxa1yhZjW1rrol2a.png\" class=\"toggle_inline_image inline_image constrained_image\" \/><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>professorfangirl: prokopetz: This is the one time of year that I love wasps. Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They\u2019re horrid little creatures year round. No, it\u2019s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening. Now, if you don\u2019t &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/03\/05\/professorfangirl-prokopetz-this-is-the-one\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[12220,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111210"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111210"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111210\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":111212,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111210\/revisions\/111212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}