{"id":109415,"date":"2016-03-17T13:56:24","date_gmt":"2016-03-17T13:56:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/03\/17\/zombie-apocalypses-are-curiously-lacking-a-large-3\/"},"modified":"2016-03-17T13:56:24","modified_gmt":"2016-03-17T13:56:24","slug":"zombie-apocalypses-are-curiously-lacking-a-large-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/03\/17\/zombie-apocalypses-are-curiously-lacking-a-large-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation."},"content":{"rendered":"

rensbogusadventure<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

govthookercoulson<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cBut we can\u2019t build walls to contain them!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they\u2019re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies can\u2019t move them. Plus they\u2019re nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we don\u2019t have easy ways to kill them!\u201d<\/p>\n

Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Want to guess what it\u2019d do to a decaying human body? It\u2019s not pretty.<\/p>\n

Now I know what you\u2019re thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n

How about a<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

OM NOM NOM NOM.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies can\u2019t stop!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer don\u2019t have a chance and neither does a zombie.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s not good enough!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

NOW it\u2019s time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.<\/p>\n

Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Country folk can survive<\/i><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

rensbogusadventure: govthookercoulson: \u201cBut we can\u2019t build walls to contain them!\u201d Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they\u2019re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[4,2398],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109415"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=109415"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109415\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=109415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=109415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=109415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}