{"id":107086,"date":"2016-04-03T01:02:36","date_gmt":"2016-04-03T01:02:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/03\/could-you-explain-the-whole-i-dont-really-have\/"},"modified":"2016-04-03T01:02:36","modified_gmt":"2016-04-03T01:02:36","slug":"could-you-explain-the-whole-i-dont-really-have","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/03\/could-you-explain-the-whole-i-dont-really-have\/","title":{"rendered":"Could you explain the whole “i don\u2019t really have depression, i\u2019m actually just a lazy piece of shit” = you’ve got depression, thing? It rang a bell for me and I’d like to know what you meant. Thanks :)"},"content":{"rendered":"

thunderboltsortofapenny<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

deebott<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

roachpatrol<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

one of the most insidious things about depression is it doesn\u2019t \u2018feel\u2019 like depression. even when you have it, you know you have it, you\u2019ve been diagnosed\u2014you still find yourself thinking, no, nope, this isn\u2019t it, can\u2019t be. it\u2019s like the mental illness equivalent of that knight in monty python that keeps going \u2018it\u2019s a flesh wound! i\u2019m fine, really! this is just a scratch, i\u2019ll be up in a moment!\u2019 even after all his limbs have been hacked off and he\u2019s lying there helpless.<\/p>\n

one of the most common narratives around it is that no one realizes they have depression until they start checking off what they consider to be normal aspects of their lives\u2014and\u00a0personal character flaws\u2014<\/em> against the checklist for depression symptoms. really key symptoms include:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. lack of motivation<\/li>\n
  2. constant tiredness, even exhaustion<\/li>\n
  3. finding no pleasure or satisfaction in activities they used to like, or that they know should feel good<\/li>\n
  4. not seeing the point of doing anything<\/li>\n
  5. increased and even unmanageable anxiety and fearfulness<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    any one of these symptoms drains away your ability to do work, cope with setbacks, overcome difficulties, or stop procrastinating. multiple symptoms create a pretty perfect storm of intertia and anxious self-loathing. you stop doing anything because it\u2019s hard to get going, unpleasant while you\u2019re at it, and afterwards there\u2019s no reward. why bother, right? and when you\u2019re always tired you get conservative of what little energy you can manage, and when you only feel emotions on the \u2018empty to miserable\u2019 spectrum you get really\u00a0aversive to making mistakes. the whole mess very quickly and very insidiously loads every single thing in your life with toxic emotional baggage. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

    and then someone says to you\u2014 or you say to yourself, \u2018stop being lazy\u2019. and that haunts you forever. because you\u2019re lazy! the work is so easy. <\/em>everyone\u00a0else<\/em> does it. everyone but you, you lazy asshole, lying around all day not doing this totally easy thing that you should be able to but\u00a0aren\u2019t.\u00a0<\/em>you don\u2019t have depression! of course not. mental illness is for victims, is for blameless innocent people who can\u2019t be blamed for being so understandably sick. but you can be blamed.\u00a0you<\/em> have a character flaw, and it\u2019s getting worse by the minute.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    and that is how people who have been diagnosed, who have been medicated, who have been through therapy, can still spend all day hiding in bed and chewing themselves up over their failure to just somehow magically be a good, healthy, useful person, instead of treating themselves to a sick day and saying \u2018yup! it\u2019s depression. i need to be kind to myself.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    Fuck this is so important and relevant<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    Nope reblogging twice in a row because u want to scream this from the roof and plaster it over the walls and never shut up about it<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    thunderboltsortofapenny: deebott: roachpatrol: one of the most insidious things about depression is it doesn\u2019t \u2018feel\u2019 like depression. even when you have it, you know you have it, you\u2019ve been diagnosed\u2014you still find yourself thinking, no, nope, this isn\u2019t it, can\u2019t be. it\u2019s like the mental illness equivalent of that knight in monty python that keeps … <\/p>\n

    Continue reading “Could you explain the whole “i don\u2019t really have depression, i\u2019m actually just a lazy piece of shit” = you’ve got depression, thing? It rang a bell for me and I’d like to know what you meant. Thanks :)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[1068,401,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107086"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107086"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107086\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107086"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107086"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107086"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}