{"id":105207,"date":"2016-04-15T20:17:15","date_gmt":"2016-04-15T20:17:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/15\/postmodernismruinedme-things-that-crack-me-up\/"},"modified":"2016-04-15T20:17:15","modified_gmt":"2016-04-15T20:17:15","slug":"postmodernismruinedme-things-that-crack-me-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/15\/postmodernismruinedme-things-that-crack-me-up\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/postmodernismruinedme.tumblr.com\/post\/142692238398\" target=\"_blank\">postmodernismruinedme<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Things that crack me up about Legolas:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Okay, so maybe the film guide says he was born in TA 87, but looking at clues from HOME and the Silmariilion, he\u2019s at the <b><i>very most<\/i><\/b> a bit over 2000 years old at time of The Fellowship of the Ring. He\u2019s the youngest elf that we know about in that time period. ARWEN is older than him. He\u2019s creeped out by Fangorn being so old but he calls all mortals children because he\u2019s a little shit.<\/li>\n<li>Tolkien would get super pissed off when Legolas was shown in illustrations as \u201cpretty or lady-like\u201d and insisted that he was the biggest, roughest, toughest of the elves and the most hardcore of the Fellowship. Legolas is like the freaking Schwarzenegger of the elves, nbd.<\/li>\n<li>Best friend is a dwarf whose father was literally imprisoned by Legolas\u2019 father and yet he still brought him to the Undying Lands for the most awkward family reunion because screw you Thranduil. And let me remind you that a) Gimli is the only, only dwarf who got to make the trip and Legolas <i>invited<\/i> him. Other people had to get permission from like the literal Valar and Legolas was like I want to bring my mortal bff yeah he wasn\u2019t a ringbearer but whatevs. Also b) most of the people who left in TA 3201 went on like these fleets of beautiful vessels with a master shipbuilder but Legolas was like nope, going to build one myself, never built one before but it can\u2019t be that hard, right? <\/li>\n<li>While Sindarin is the most common Elvish language by the time Legolas is alive, it\u2019s considered really ugly and and unrefined, but here Legolas is running around probably not even able to speak the language of his ancestors, and I imagine him super proud of what must sound like an awful accent to his people. <\/li>\n<li>Also super explains how useless he was at Moira trying to decipher the door because he doesn\u2019t have time to deal with those snobs.<\/li>\n<li>All the Fellowship got useful gifts or ones with spiritual meaning but instead Galadriel was like no, Legolas, I\u2019m going to give you this big ass bow that\u2019s bigger than the Mirkwood ones and it\u2019s going to be so sick yeah it\u2019s like taller than you are BUT ITS GOING TO LOOK SO SWEET. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>postmodernismruinedme: Things that crack me up about Legolas: Okay, so maybe the film guide says he was born in TA 87, but looking at clues from HOME and the Silmariilion, he\u2019s at the very most a bit over 2000 years old at time of The Fellowship of the Ring. He\u2019s the youngest elf that we &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/15\/postmodernismruinedme-things-that-crack-me-up\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[2354,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105207"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=105207"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105207\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=105207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=105207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=105207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}