{"id":103862,"date":"2016-04-25T06:48:02","date_gmt":"2016-04-25T06:48:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/25\/the-freaky-ass-furniture-of-catherine-the-great\/"},"modified":"2016-04-25T06:48:02","modified_gmt":"2016-04-25T06:48:02","slug":"the-freaky-ass-furniture-of-catherine-the-great","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/25\/the-freaky-ass-furniture-of-catherine-the-great\/","title":{"rendered":"The Freaky Ass\u00a0Furniture of Catherine The Great"},"content":{"rendered":"

transaaronburr<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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beautilation<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

This is Catherine The Great. She was a legendary Empress of Russia and ruled longer than any other leader, and she did a damn good job by all accounts. People loved her, she worked hard, she was smart, and she was also one of the proudest motherfucking freaks in HISTORY. She proved to the world that just because you look a little like Lady John Lithgow does not mean you are undesirable, and just because you\u2019re royalty does not mean you can\u2019t be a horny goddess of filth.<\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

There\u2019s this rumor that Catherine\u2019s biggest conquest was a literal goddamn horse, but historians believe that it\u2019s just a sick rumor that some hating ass bitches made up because they were intimidated that a woman could not only be in charge of a country but of her own sexual predilections. HMM, THANK GOD TIMES HAVE CHANGED???<\/i><\/p>\n

Anyway, Catherine used her money to finance this fuck pad room in her castle that was an homage to doin\u2019 the nasty. Catherine\u2019s Pinterest board must have looked like a fucking PornHub screenshot because this is what that beautiful proud slut decorated her lair with:<\/p>\n

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A chair that is so classically beautiful and\u2026oh my damn\u2026what in the hell..<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

IS THAT CHAIR SUCKING A DAMN DICK?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

THAT IS THE DEVIL AND HE IS EATING A PUSSY LIKE HELLFIRE\u2019S GONNA SHOOT OUT OF IT<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

YOU NOT A BAD BITCH UNLESS YOUR OFFICE CHAIR HAS A PANTALOON-LESS VULVA AIRING ITSELF OUT ON IT.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

THERE ARE GIANT WANGS GROWING OUT OF GIANT CHI-CHIS HOLDING UP A CORNUCOPIA OF FINELY-CRAFTED, CLASSICAL ASS, BAROQUE ASS, ROCOCO ASS GENITALS, WITH THEIR TORRENTIAL EJACULATIONS. HOW THE FUCK YOU GONNA GO TO IKEA AFTER THIS SHIT?\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

I wish there were more pictures of the original pieces, but in the 50\u2032s some uptight German Army dipshits destroyed her collection because it gave them shameful boners or something. An artist has recreated<\/a> her utilitarian odes to fuck, but it is truly sad that we cultured skanks can never appreciate such high art in its original glory. Damn, Cathy. Respect.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

jesus fucking christ<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

transaaronburr: beautilation: This is Catherine The Great. She was a legendary Empress of Russia and ruled longer than any other leader, and she did a damn good job by all accounts. People loved her, she worked hard, she was smart, and she was also one of the proudest motherfucking freaks in HISTORY. She proved to … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “The Freaky Ass\u00a0Furniture of Catherine The Great”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[12842,275,261,43,1221,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103862"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=103862"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103862\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=103862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=103862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=103862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}