{"id":103157,"date":"2016-04-30T08:23:28","date_gmt":"2016-04-30T08:23:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/30\/berhanes-berhanes-things-my-impossibly-young\/"},"modified":"2016-04-30T08:23:28","modified_gmt":"2016-04-30T08:23:28","slug":"berhanes-berhanes-things-my-impossibly-young","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/30\/berhanes-berhanes-things-my-impossibly-young\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

berhanes<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

berhanes<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

things my impossibly young looking Roman history lecturer has said<\/b><\/p>\n

\u2018listen to your seminar tutors over the booklet, but only for seminars – in lectures i am king. unless you have me as a seminar tutor as well, in which case i am your king and god.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018has anybody played Rome: Total War? <\/i>no?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Cataline tried to burn the city and everyone he hated but he failed because, in short, nobody liked him.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018the mediterranean diet didn\u2019t include tomatoes in the ancient world. i know. oh my god. i know.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018so of course when Hannibal turns up, the senate goes\u00a0\u2018sod it, lets kick his arse\u2019.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018one man\u2019s optimates is another man\u2019s silver-spoon bearing prick.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018we don\u2019t have much information about the 70s BC, largely because Plutarch doesn\u2019t care.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018i\u2019m not saying Rome: Total War <\/i>is entirely accurate, but its battle campaigns are surprisingly historically informed.\u2019<\/p>\n

[hand drawing a map in chalk because the projector is broken]\u00a0\u2018i\u2019ll give it a go, this is why i hate technology, and oh. well. that\u2019s <\/i>not italy.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018every army needs bakers and prostitutes, this is just a fact of life.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sulla. He\u2019s a bit of a badass, but also a bit of a prick.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018yes, that is a slide from Spartacus. <\/i>The film, not the series, which is more accurate and less like soft porn.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u2018the Romans liked Campania because its very fertile. they didn\u2019t know this was because of its proximity to a volcano – poor buggers found THAT out later.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Crassus gets given command of Syria and high fives everyone in the senate.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Catullus was very pithy, very hellenistic in style. unlike the Iliad, which is 24 books of tedium.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018An Afternoon at Carrhae: the Romans being shot at repeatedly by Parthian cavalry because if there\u2019s one thing the Romans aren\u2019t good at, it\u2019s having a cavalry.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s good to have fast legs in war. Caesar moves very fast, not unlike Napoleon. The Usain Bolt of ancient warfare. I\u2019m not sure why I said that, it\u2019s an atrocious analogy.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Athens is the Edinburgh of the ancient world; it has nothing to offer but education and pretty buildings.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Shout out to those of you who spent your teenage years playing Rome: Total War.<\/i>Which is what I did.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018The senate go into a panic and they decide to flee Rome at dawn, but some idiot forgets the treasury. I know. Ridiculous.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Again: don\u2019t use elephants during warfare. They\u2019re not as cool as they look. And given they\u2019re now endangered, it\u2019d just be mean.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018I had to use this meme, I\u2019m sorry. You\u2019re all aware of the one does not simply walk into mordor <\/i>meme right? I\u2019m sorry, we\u2019ll move on.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I put this photo in for dramatic effect but I realise that it\u2019s just a field. I don\u2019t know why people bother going to see battle sites, they\u2019re all really boring. I saw bones once, they were quite interesting. But most battle sites: boring.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Caesar doesn\u2019t tell Rome anything while he\u2019s away in Egypt for a year, so they have no idea Pompey\u2019s dead. All they know is that Antony is being a pain in the ass, which is, in all honesty, not unusual for Antony.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Caesar is very good at one liners. You always draft a pithy one liner before a battle so you have something to say when you win. You don\u2019t want to win and then just be like \u2018whoo, thank god for that.\u2019\u2019<\/i><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

berhanes: berhanes: things my impossibly young looking Roman history lecturer has said \u2018listen to your seminar tutors over the booklet, but only for seminars – in lectures i am king. unless you have me as a seminar tutor as well, in which case i am your king and god.\u2019 \u2018has anybody played Rome: Total War? … <\/p>\n

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