{"id":103123,"date":"2016-04-30T16:16:06","date_gmt":"2016-04-30T16:16:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/30\/executive-dysfunction-life-hack\/"},"modified":"2016-04-30T16:16:06","modified_gmt":"2016-04-30T16:16:06","slug":"executive-dysfunction-life-hack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/04\/30\/executive-dysfunction-life-hack\/","title":{"rendered":"Executive dysfunction life hack"},"content":{"rendered":"

star-anise<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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roachpatrol<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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jumpingjacktrash<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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the-rain-monster<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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naamahdarling<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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lenyberry<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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star-anise<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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feathersmoons<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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star-anise<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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feathersmoons<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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star-anise<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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lemonsharks<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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star-anise<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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Instead of telling yourself,\u00a0\u201cI should get up,\u201d or\u00a0\u201cI should do this,\u201d<\/p>\n

Ask yourself,\u00a0\u201cWhen will I get up?\u201d or\u00a0\u201cWhen will I be ready to do this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Things I did not actually realize was an option<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

What\u2019s amazing is what happens when you do this with children. \u00a0I hit on it when working at the foster home, where nearly all our kids were on the autism spectrum, and they weren\u2019t\u00a0\u201cdefiant\u201d around me because I said things like,\u00a0\u201cHow long do you need to stand here before we can move?\u201d and\u00a0\u201cCome into the kitchen when you\u2019re ready\u201d instead of saying,\u00a0\u201cStop staring out the window, let\u2019s go,\u201d or\u00a0\u201cCome eat dinner,\u201d and interpreting hesitation as refusal to obey.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I have also definitely found that doing the \u201cokay when I finish counting down from twenty is getting up time\u201d has been useful.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Yup, that\u2019s way better for toddlers and younger kids. \u00a0It helps when they don\u2019t have the self-awareness, attention span, or concept of the passage of time to estimate when they\u2019ll be ready by themselves.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Oh I meant for me. XD Saying it to myself.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

WELL OKAY WHOOPS XD I should not have been overspecific, I was just thinking about teaching this stuff to the parents at my job and your reblog made me immediately think of you with Banana and the kidlets.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Another hack: when you want to get up but are stalled by your brain and frustrated \u2013 stop. Breathe. Think about what you want to do once you\u2019re up, without thinking about getting up. Treat it like a fantasy, no pressure, just thinking about something you\u2019d like to do in the future. Instead of thinking\u00a0\u201cI should get up\u201d over and over, think about\u00a0having a bagel for breakfast, or getting dressed in your soft green sweater. Imagine yourself doing the thing.<\/p>\n

I find that exercise often side-steps the block and the next thing I know I\u2019m out of bed and on my way to doing the other thing I thought about.<\/p>\n

Works for other things too, if you\u2019re stuck on one step and having a hard time doing it, think about the step after that. Need to do laundry and you can\u2019t get yourself to gather up your dirty clothes in the hamper? Think instead about carrying the hamper full of dirty clothes to the laundry room. And when you get to that next step, if you get stuck again, think about the step after it \u2013 you have a hamper of dirty clothes that needs to be put in the wash, let your subconscious handle the\u00a0\u201ccarry hamper to laundry room\u201d step while you\u2019re thinking about the\u00a0\u201cputting them in the wash\u201d part.<\/p>\n

YMMV of course, and this doesn\u2019t even always<\/i> work for me (particularly not when I need to do a collection of tasks in no particular order, like packing for a trip\u2026 \u201cpack socks, pack underwear, pack toothbrush, pack pants, pack shirts\u201d is the kind of non-linear task list where this trick doesn\u2019t help at all), but it\u2019s something I\u2019ve found helpful often enough.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is one of the most beautiful threads I\u2019ve seen on Tumblr simply because it deals so compassionately with an issue so many of us have and can barely even articulate to ourselves, let alone to anyone else. <3<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I think I get overwhelmed from the thought of all of the consequent steps, so maybe I\u2019ll do the reverse of the advice above and try to focus on the first one.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

@the-rain-monster<\/a> i was just about to say something similar. that can work too sometimes. instead of going \u201cugh i need to eat something\u201d for four hours, i try to focus on each step in turn.<\/p>\n

and i mean each TINY step. just getting out of my chair has this many steps:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. pause music<\/li>\n
  2. remove headphones<\/li>\n
  3. hang headphones on laptop screen<\/li>\n
  4. pick up laptop<\/li>\n
  5. leg-bend recliner footrest shut<\/li>\n
  6. set laptop aside<\/li>\n
  7. stand<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    and i reckon that\u2019s why i get stuck on it; because i\u2019m trying to treat it as one thing, while executive dysfunction is treating it as seven things, and choking on trying to skip to step seven.<\/p>\n

    concurrent with this is a method i call \u2018junebugging\u2019. which is where i go to the location of the thing i want to do, and just sort of bump around the region like a big stupid beetle until the thing somehow accidentally magically gets done. this is an attempt to leverage ADHD into an advantage; i may not have the executive function to make myself a sandwich on purpose, but if i fidget in the kitchen long enough, some kind of food is going to end up in my mouth eventually. and hell, even if i fail on that front, i will probably have achieved something<\/i>, even if it\u2019s only pouring all my loose leaf tea into decorative jars.*<\/p>\n

    @star-anise<\/a> please may i give you an internet hug *hug!* because god how i wish anyone had known to do that for me when i was a kid. my childhood was one big overload, and like 99% of the huge dramatic meltdowns that made me the scapegoat\/laughingstock\/target of my entire elementary school were simply due to people not giving me time to process the next step, and interpreting a bluescreen as defiance\/insult.<\/p>\n

    *this happened when i was trying to do dishes actually but the principle is sound<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    yeah i absolutely echo what j\u2019s saying about the steps, it\u2019s a lot like that for me too. i get overwhelmed at the prospect of something that should <\/i>be simple, and have to slow down and sort out how many steps it\u2019s actually going to take, and what a complicated endeavor it actually is, even if no one else thinks so.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    also, i thought i should put in: try to honestly figure out what you\u2019re averse to, that makes things so tough. making a whole bunch of decisions really fast? the potential of things to make a horrible noise? the shame of failure? having to put down what you\u2019re doing now? having to clean up whatever it is you might go do when you\u2019re done?<\/p>\n

    for instance, for me, the difficulty rating on anything goes waaaay up when a step of a task is\u00a0\u2018go somewhere people will look at you,\u2019 which is for me about the unpleasantness equivalent of \u2018jump into a very cold swimming pool right now\u2019. you know you\u2019ll be fine and even have fun once you\u2019ve settled into it, but it still takes a lot of shuffling around and bracing yourself first to go for it. and some days you just don\u2019t fucking want to go swimming.<\/p>\n

    i discounted this factor for years<\/i>\u00a0because i wouldn\u2019t admit that i was so daunted by something so silly as as people looking at me<\/i>. but, now i know what i\u2019m so aversive about, i can factor it in to plans, and work around it, and be kind to myself. for instance, i was never able to get fit since highschool PE, because i couldn\u2019t make myself go to a gym, or even out jogging. once i figured out the big problem wasn\u2019t avoidance pain or difficulty, it was avoidance of doing a New Thing that i was Bad At in front of Unknown Quantities Of Strangers, which is like a triple threat of stressors, i started working out quietly and safely in my room at night, and i\u2019ve been doing really good on it!\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    Absolutely loving the tag #you don\u2019t make a broken car work by yelling ALL THE OTHER CARS WORK FINE<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    This is also why I find nowdothis<\/a> to be helpful, because i can put each and every item into it and then I only see one at a time, so I\u2019m not overwhelmed by having 10 things to do, I only see what needs to be done now. \u02c6<\/i>But I am definitely going to try this with myself<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    star-anise: roachpatrol: jumpingjacktrash: the-rain-monster: naamahdarling: lenyberry: star-anise: feathersmoons: star-anise: feathersmoons: star-anise: lemonsharks: star-anise: Instead of telling yourself,\u00a0\u201cI should get up,\u201d or\u00a0\u201cI should do this,\u201d Ask yourself,\u00a0\u201cWhen will I get up?\u201d or\u00a0\u201cWhen will I be ready to do this?\u201d Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is … <\/p>\n

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