Last night after Ghostbusters, I stopped to talk to one of the young men about my age. (We had previously established that we both had an interest in film, and he was a relatively well-mannered individual who gave me some recommendations for research websites.) We were both enthusiastic about the film and its quality, but suddenly he stopped and frowned.

“I’m just not sure about Kevin,” he said in confusion. “He’s kind of pointless, isn’t he? Why did they need a character like that? I’ve never seen anything like it before…”

I gaped at him briefly. “Haven’t you ever heard about the Dumb Blonde Trope?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, but isn’t that typically for…” His eyes got wide, and he looked at me in absolute terror. “Oh.”

“Oh” is right, buddy.

Cool Subtitles for Hamilton Songs

Alexander Hamilton: hello. It’s me
Aaron Burr, Sir: God is testing me and John Laurens is gay
My Shot: I’m smol but I will fight anyone
Story of Tonight: gay subtext
The Schuyler Sisters: werk werk
Farmer Refuted: shut the fuck up
You’ll be Back: don’t leave me m’lady
Right Hand Man: shaboom
A Winter’s Ball: hey…..( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Helpless: Honey there’s a storm coming
Satisfied: thirst™
The Story of Tonight – Reprise: even more gay subtext
Wait For It: I love a married woman
Stay Alive: I’m a general, wheeeeeee
The Ten Duel Commandments: (ง︡’-‘︠)ง
Meet Me Inside: daddy issues
That Would Be Enough: pure™
Guns And Ships: gunboats
History Has Its Eyes On You: I
fucked up once
Yorktown(the World Turned Upside Down): we won and its lit
What Comes Next: ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽
Dear Theodosia: God I hope I don’t fuck up this kid too badly
Non-Stop: red bull gives you wiiings
What’d I Miss: here he is, the
biggest douche of the universe
Cabinet Battle #1: the roast session
Take a Break: pay attention to your own fucking kid jfc
Say No To This: thirst™ 2.0
Room Where it Happens: fuck you Burr
Schuyler Defeated: you ruined my dream journal
Cabinet Battle #2: daddy’s calling
One Last Time: Jefferson, Adams, I’m leaving. And while I’m gone. No parties.
I Know Him: they’re gonna fight in a Denny’s parking lot
The Adams Administration: sit down John you fat motherfucker
We Know: blackmail for fun and profit
Hurricane: yep this is a great idea
The Reynolds Pamphlet: great goggly moggly its all gone to shit
Burn: don’t fuck with Eliza. Ever.
Blow Us All Away: bad conflict resolution
Stay Alive – Reprise: Pain
It’s Quiet Uptown: pain 2.0
The Election of 1800: fuck you Burr 2.0
Your Obedient Servant: Passive aggressive Facebook moms
Best of Wives and Best of Women: gross sobbing
The World Was Wide Enough: wakey wakey big mistakey
Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: more gross sobbing

Types of fanfic summaries and what they mean

First paragraph of the actual fic: I judge the whole fic by the first words and I assume you do too so here it is
“Just a series or drabbles/headcanons/prompts”: Someday I want to write an incredible 200k fic but for now have fun going through all the chapters trying to figure out which one is the one you actually want to read
“Will X be able to find love before Y happens?” And other questions: I read entirely too many YA novels
Quote from the actual fic: I watch entirely too many movie trailers
“Basically just an X fic with Y characters”: I can probably write a good summary if I cared a little more
Song lyrics: I have no idea how summaries work and I’m trying to be like the people with poem quotes
Poem quotes: either the best thing you’ve ever read or 13-year old English literature purple prose there is no in-between
Lol I can’t do summaries: I’m not entirely sure if I want you to read my fic
“Wtf is this” or other author questioning themselves: it’s either porn or crack
Explicit rated fics: listen my man I know you’re not gonna really read the summary just read the tags and decide if my sin is the sin for you
Paragraph of tags and one line summary: ok listen I can’t do summaries but I’ve got this ok IVE GOT THIS
dictionary definition: fluff or angst here you go
Either a meme or a tumblr imagine your otp: I was bored and I had emotions about my ship you can have emotions about them too
Paragraph from the source the fic is from: I’ve basically written my headcanon and made it prettier
“I’m so sorry” or “I cried while writing this” : I was in a sad mood and I needed a healthy way to release these emotions so now y’all get to suffer
No summary: it’s either porn or a small drabble and it all depends on the word count
Actual fic summary: *rocks back on old wheelchair* listen kid *smokes cigarette* I’ve seen and read a lot of things *blows smoke* and I know it’s hard but there’s still hope in this world ok? *looks into the distance* also you might wanna read the tags because the chances of gore and/or character death being in my fic have gone from 0 to 75

Scooby Doo: It wasn’t aliens it was a human
Doctor Who: It wasn’t humans it was an alien
Sherlock: It was nothing, everyone was drugged