jen-the-crazy-writer:

hopeful-weirdo:

skeletonize:

skeletonize:

i was looking at old photos and i wanted to show you how our story went, a little

bronwyn and i met at age 12 but i dont have any photos from then, really, but this is from grade 9 science class when we were being goofs and i was 13

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this is from our first ever sleepover, we couldn’t stop laughing and we were sleeping on a mattress on the floor and we went to boston pizza and got plastic rings that we both still have (bronwyn kept hers on a necklace after that)

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i went to bronwyn’s cottage for the first time in the summer after grade 9

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we had our first kiss in grade 10 when i was 14 and were in a weird kind of dating limbo period

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then i moved to the states and turned 15 and told bronwyn i was in love with her and we visited every chance we could and she sent me flowers and packages

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then i went to junior prom with her and bronwyn cut her hair

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then we had the most beautiful summer where i spent 5 weeks at her cottage and i cut my hair

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then i went back to miami for 12th grade and turned 16 and bronwyn was 17 and we went to senior prom together

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then i moved back to canada for university when i was turning 17 and we finally lived in the same place again and we loved each other so much and got breakfast together every day

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then after a beautiful summer we started living together when i was 18 and bronwyn was 19  and we went to bahrain together and bronwyn dyed her hair brown and now i get to see her every morning and every night and we adventure in our city and have a coffee shop and love each other more than i could have thought. there were periods of scary intense darkness but we love each other so much and i’ve never been happier. i’ve known bronwyn since i was 12 and now i’m almost 19 and i love her more and more.

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i’m never on here anymore, but i wanted to share that almost a month ago bronwyn and i got engaged!! under a beautiful tree on a perfect day and for the rest of my life i get to pursue her and care for her and make her laugh. i’ve said this so many times but now more than ever: if this is all i get, it’s so much more than i could have hoped for.

This makes me so happy

margotkim:

tohuwabohus:

margotkim:

I was going to be like “an AU where all Leia writes all her official dispatched he exact same way that Carrie Fisher tweets,” except I think we all know in our heart of hearts that this is in fact canon, and the first thing you learn in the Resistance is a basic fluency in emoji

One time the First Order manages to intercept a few official communiques and they’re all like “wtf is this code” while Kylo Ren is standing to the side just dying inside because MOM GOD THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

darth vader would never write like this

THIS IS THE MOST VITALLY IMPORTANT THING I HAVE BEHELD OH MY GOD

a tale of trees and espionage

emberglows:

okay story time:

my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 5’2", about as intimidating as a muffin) is a dendrologist by trade, so he studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up.

(the few of us who actually showed up were like “ok sir im sure its fascinating” but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing – the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.)

ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point…. ‘hehehe field work’ i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it’s long, imma warn you, but……. god. just read it.

theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree (Magnolia acuminata, if ya wanna get all Latin-y). its super endangered, in our region there’s only ~280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda. my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we’re talking like backyards, independently-owned nurseries, etc. WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree law (i know) it is very strictly protected by the government, and thus super “illegal to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from wild sources.” essentially, the govt takes control over growing the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i know)

so he’d ask people “do you have a permit for these trees?” and they were like “uh no, it’s just a tree someone sold me, i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?” so he’d be like “nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you”

eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STG.

he infiltrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN. he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he’s one of them, not a SECRET AGENT.

now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don’t even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT TOUCH. so, ya know…………. it’s a bit obvious. my prof hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their “hit spots”. these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for his research.)

BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn’t have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he’s going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa’s age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his merry fucking way.

so my prof has the proof, he’s been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is like…….. “oh shit”, helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVIOUS way of marking endangered trees (so that way non-tree-lovers wouldn’t damage them further, etc.), and then never returns to the tree traffickers. he’d given them a fake name, address, everything….. he disappears.

…there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he’s a muffin) and all of us students are just like……. “whoa.” we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here’s the kicker… he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he’s not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he’s like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (i’ll never forget, it’s the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) “it may be ‘illegal’, but those who risk their liberty to ~save the world~ should never be reprimanded, no matter what those in power say.”

we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we’d now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn’t attend our exam, so i never see him again…………

and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning innocently, standing underneath a……. FUCKING. FULL GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE.

kittydesade:

readingdidyoumeanbreathing:

musicalluna:

samurljackson:

betweenthepage:

readingdidyoumeanbreathing:

thecheekynerdgirl:

readingdidyoumeanbreathing:

The reason I like reading a book in one day is because I love watching people look at the size of the book in pure horror and then back at me like I just became terrifying in their eyes

I had a guy in highschool look at me one day and go, “why do you have a different book every other day? Why not just read one??” I just kind of paused and said, “they’re different because I read them and get a new one?” And he made this face

these are the moments i live for

THE SECURITY GUARD AT MY JOB IS ACTUALLY SCARED OF ME BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFERENT BOOK WITH ME EVERYDAY. HE SAYS ITS NOT NATURAL.
HAHAHA GOOD

the second day after my ship’s change of command ceremony, i see the new cap come around the corner so i call attention on deck and everyone freezes and clears the way.

he walks past me and i’m about to relax but then he, stops, backs up and looks me up and down. i’m sweating bullets because we knew nothing about what kind of a cap was he going to be like was my shirt untucked or something oh god what did i do now???

and he just goes “where’s your book?”

and i blink because i am a third class petty officer but a captain is still kind of terrifying and he’s new and I DON’T KNOW WHAT BOOK HE IS TALKING ABOUT is he a stickler do i need to have a copy of the bluejacket’s manual on me at all times or what?

so i screw up my courage and ask him, “my book, sir?”

and he checks my name patch again and says, “you’re petty officer xxxx, you always have a book. where is your book? are you okay?”

like

cap has been onboard for less than 24 hours HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS?

(i mean, he’s not wrong, i got a lot of shit from other senior personnel about the pocket on my uniform being stretched out because it always had a book in it.)

but i have an answer and he’s the new cap, so i give it: “i finished my last one and haven’t had a chance to get to my bunk and grab a new one.”

and his eyes bug out

shit

i broke the new captain goddammit LT is gonna kill me

and he goes “BUT YOU JUST STARTED THAT ONE YESTERDAY!”

and i’m just staring back now like HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK OUR NEW CAP IS PSYCHIC OR SOME SHIT

and because my brain has broken under the stress of this encounter i ask him

and he’s like “i saw you on the mess decks on my tour with [old cap] and you were on like page ten that book is like 400 pages how did you read it in one day?”

and i’m like SHIT he’s gonna be pissed because he thinks i was slacking because i read a bigass book in one day fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

like this was not the first time i’d gotten in trouble for reading when i was on watch or whatever but i had maintenance watches i’m literally waiting for something to break and my chief didn’t mind

BUT THIS IS THE CAP IF HE MINDS CHIEF’S OPINION ISN’T WORTH A FISH FART IN THE OCEAN

and so i stammer, “i read a lot? so… i… i read fast?”

and he just stares and i don’t know what the expression on his face means

before i can process this though and come up with a new response, he’s grabbing my shoulder and turning me and pushing me ahead of him where little baby petty officers do not walk because CAPTAIN GOES FIRST

and i’m like “welp this is how i end up in the brig i get to be the new cap’s first captain’s mast it was nice knowing everyone”

idk that or he’s gonna throw me over the side honestly who knows my whole world was upside down at this point

and then he starts talking

he’s like “go get a new book what are you reading next did you like your last book tell your chief i sent you if he asks why you were gone what is your favorite genre and author have you ever read” and basically escorts me to my berthing grilling me about books and everywhere we go people are staring and oh god i’m going to die i am just going to die of shame and horror and this is it this is what takes me out does this count as dying for my country i don’t even know

and that’s how we learned that our new cap was married to a librarian and an avid reader and was not going to have an illiterate crew, dammit.

i never caught shit for having a book in my back pocket or reading on watch again. 😀

this is so cute i love you so much im so jealous

This is the best story I have ever read, god bless

@archifist