“Kitty Kommercial”
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This is it, the greatest video in the history of forever

i had to rewatch it twice because i missed half the dialogue due to laughing

The lady being a flail guy omg

Also, my mom got her fur!kids there and they are the BEST, in addition to being hilarious 😀



So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5’2" girl.

Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.

I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.

Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.

Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet



When my cousin Olivia was three, she started preschool and became best friends with a boy named Abraham.  Most people called him Abe, even then, because Abraham is a mouthful for a three year old and, to most people, it’s the logical nickname.

Not, however, according to Olivia, who decided to nickname him Ham.

No one’s really sure whether she wasn’t totally listening when he was introduced and only caught the last part of his name, or if she decided Abe was too boring a nickname, or maybe she was just hungry, but the nickname has stuck for the last twenty years.  Of course, Olivia was and still is the only person to use it.

When they were seven or eight, he decided to get back at her by calling her Olive.  That nickname stuck, too, and they’ve been Olive and Ham since.  But only to each other.  They get highly offended if anyone else calls them that.

Last night was their seventh anniversary, and Abe proposed to Olivia, and she said yes.  And how did she announce it on Facebook, you may ask?

People used to tell me “If you like ham so much, why don’t you just marry it?”  So I am.

Shout out to Olive and Ham, who are still engaged and adorable and who are planning on getting married sometime next summer