purqatory:

regulusblxcks:

frenchpadfoot:

jiilys:

alrightevans:

social media aus make everything better lmao literally imagine the harry potter books + social media. second year someone snapchats a picture of literal death threats written on the walls in blood captioned ‘’hogwarts its the safest place in the world’ lmao bitch where??’ fourth year #potterstinks is trending locally on twitter. sixth year story gets out about harry’s conversation with snape and everybody in the gryffindor group chat changes their name to ‘roonil wazlib’ for a week. draco bitching about harry on yik yak as if the entire school doesn’t know for a fact its him. 

  • if i may
  • Hogwarts girls all sharing pinterest boards of the ideal
    yule ball #aesthetic
  • Fred and george’s twitters being #1 in the school because
    they post stuff like: ‘Filch’s office has a nice carpet it would be a shame if
    someone… replaced it with ants… hmm… imagine… swarms of ants… in Flich’s
    office… right at this moment…’
  • Inquisitorial Squad has a facebook page which it’s
    compulsory to like but no matter how hard they try they can’t get anyone to
    like their new profile pic of all of them posing like absolute white boys
    outside the greenhouses
  • Dumbledore is the Cher of Hogwarts Twitter
  • Colin Creevy’s snapchat story basically just being videos of
    Harry sleeping with captions like ‘the boy who sleeps!!!!!!’
  • Moaning Mertle having 38 minute long youtube videos that
    have 2 views
  • A reddit thread of ‘Where is Sirius Black???’ and someone
    keeps posting dog puns on it but no one knows who it is
  • Dumbledore has to ask everyone at the start of term feast to
    stop creating fake McGonagall Instagram’s that are just full of cat pictures
    with captions like ‘my damn hair was a CAT-astrophe today’  
  • YAHOO ANSWERS: ‘if I was trying to sneak a bunch of cloaked
    figures into school without anyone noticing in order to redeem my father in the
    eyes of Death Eater Jesus how would I do that I am asking for a friend’
  • MORE YAHOO ANSWERS: ‘how to tell entire class of students
    that teacher is a werewolf without arousing suspicion’
  • FUCKING YAHOO ANSWERS MAN: ‘is it bad to keep dragon inside
    wooden house’ and then ‘spell to rebuild wall of wooden house after enormous
    fire’
  • Slughorn would be one of those instagramers who tag
    everything with about 3939 tags like #followforafollow #likeforalike #f4f
    #funny #hilarious #lol #popular #fitness #instalike #inspiration #love #hate
    even when the photo is literally just a shot of his thumb
  • I could go on for years oh my god can you picture McClaggans
    Facebook where he tags Hermione in every fitness photo until she is forced to
    unfriend him
  • Out of nowhere people start getting followed by someone called @Thesiriusblack on instagram and all it has is a “surprise bitch, I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me” meme
  • the memes though
  • history of hogwarts becomes a huge thing because fred and george got their hands onto youtube so everyone talks about it now. “sticks. and brooms. broomsticks”
  • neville becomes FAMOUS for years because trevor is the face of the pepe meme.
  • peeves playing “never gonna give you up” near valentine’s day

the wizarding schools around the world compete to see which does the best harlem shake

Pseudo-intellectual Pricks

thetattooedmezzosoprano:

thehighpriestofreverseracism:

bert-and-ernie-are-gay:

gardnerhill:

wishesofalibiya:

preeoz:

He’s most likely educated, possibly a master’s degree in rhetoric. He could be a new atheist, possibly libertarian, most likely white. If you can’t smell his smugness, you can recognize him by the following tropes below.

Next time they use one of these on you, don’t waste your time. Copy and paste. Let them know they’re stereotyped.

The Pacifist

  • The guy who’s always making that bigoted comment on your thread, and always ends with, “Let’s agree to disagree.” He may follow up with a disingenuous attempt at finding common ground.
  • Example: I’m just saying, that if poor people worked harder, they wouldn’t have to depend on the government. You obviously don’t think so. No need to get upset. Let’s just agree to disagree. We can certainly find common ground with the fact that there are definitely some poor people that work very hard.

The Freedom Fighter

  • More indignant than the smug pacifist, he feels you’re taking away his right to have an opinion.
  • Example: I’m allowed to have an opinion about homosexuality. I’m allowed to express my beliefs. I’m allowed to disagree without being attacked. 

The Anecdotally Privileged

  • He’s white (and male) and he’s right. No matter what your experience is, his experience trumps it.
  • Example: Well, I lived in New York City for three years and the NYPD has always treated me with respect.

The Wounded

  • He responds with the old shock and awe routine about being misunderstood.
  • Example: You know who I am. I’m not a bad person. How can you call me a sexist?

The Oppression Authority

  • He married into oppression (or is friends with the oppressed or spent time working among the oppressed), so now his opinion should have gravitas.
  • Example: My wife’s family is Mexican, and they also think illegal immigrants should be deported.

The Call for Civility

  • He indirectly insults your racial, gender, sexual identity, spiritual beliefs, or simply your intelligence. When you call him out on his bigotry, he is (huff huff) insulted. Then he plays the “call for civility.”
  • Example: I haven’t called you any names, but you called me a bigot. If you want to persuade people, you need to treat people with civility.

The Logical Fallacist

  • His go-to is the ad hominem. When you point out that he may not understand a racial problem because he’s white, he screams, “ad hominem!” and runs around with his underwear on his head. Another favorite is the straw man, where he claims you’ve ignored his real argument and are attacking an incorrect version of his argument.
  • Example: You’ve misunderstood my main point. I was talking about the prison industrial complex, not racism. Straw man!

The Claim of Ignorance/Innocence

  • He claims that he’s confused about your opinion on a personal matter and wants to discuss it. Don’t be fooled. He knows exactly what he wants to say and is trying to lead you down a path where he can claim you’ve made a logical fallacy. Then he will claim innocence again—that he was simply trying to have a discussion. He will call for civility. You can’t win.
  • Example: I’m confused. It’s just not natural to be with someone of the same sex.

The Rational Male

  • He is calm, collected, and detached. He understands reason and logic. If you make it personal or emotional, that’s it. Conversation over.
  • Example: Simply put, I fail to see the logic of religion. All religions are the opiate of the masses. But there is one religion that kills people if you disagree with them. And that’s Islam. You don’t see Buddhist bombers, do you? Well, if you’re going to become emotional, then we can’t have this conversation. 

The Neutral Judge

  • He can view the situation from a neutral point of view, implying you cannot. Sure, he understands your POV. Because he’s neutral and wiser than you, he also understands the other side. Because of this ability to discern such (literally) black and white issues with no partiality, he is a better judge than you are.
  • Example: I followed the entire George Zimmerman case and listened to all the evidence presented. Though I find it all tragic, I have to agree with the jurors. You might have anecdotal evidence about racism in the law, but the law is the law.

I swear 99% of white men fall into all of these categories

and i love watching the Rational Logical atheist white men go into shrieking tailspins if you suggest that mayyybe they’re not quite as objective as they insist they are – “I DON’T have white privilege Oprah’s richer than me I DON”T I DON”T I DON”T STOP BEING HYSTERICALLLLL!!!!”

I accidentally began a relationship with Mr Oppression Authority (¼ Filipino! grew up poor on an army base! he knew about discrimination!) that turned into horrific abuse/my being a frog slowly boiled alive for three years, and I still think this is the funniest as well as most accurate post of 2016. I mean, “…and runs around with his underwear on his head”? My skin just cleared up.

Saving this and printing it out.

Literally so many people in my life like this

I have had to hit the eject button on way too many of these fools. Keep your eyes open for them, folks – they will do us no good. 

Dear LGBT community members who don’t think asexuality should be allowed “in”:

agent-moonshoes:

I’m biologically female, and I’m not attracted to men. Society told me I was supposed to be, but it never happened, and I spent years of my life feeling broken and wrong. The other option presented to me when I was young was being attracted to women. I watched girls closely, trying to figure it out, but that wasn’t working for me, either. Wanting to be sexually close to another person just baffled me. I swore everyone else was making those feelings up. But they weren’t, and I got older, I realized that and it sunk in that I was just one big weirdo. I was in college when I learned the word for it, and had a breakdown of panic and relief. I can’t begin to put into words how it felt to discover I wasn’t broken–that I was a part of a group of people who felt in their hearts and souls the way I did.

Then came the process of coming out. My friends were a mixed bag, but friends you can pick and choose from if they aren’t supportive.The vast majority of my friends were cool about it, even if they didn’t quite understand. There were assholes, and one suggested “showing me” I was wrong (creepy creepy creepy), but mostly my friends were neutral to positive.

After some select friends, I came out to my family.

My parents told I was wrong.

It was like being run over by a truck. To this day, I can’t talk about my asexuality around those I love most. It caused one of the only serious arguments I’ve ever had with my parents (I love them and they’re wonderful about 99.9% of the things in my life, but this is one place they weren’t). I was told I just had to find the “right person”, and I would change. That I was too young to understand my feelings (I was in my 20s) towards boys. That I shouldn’t put labels on myself that would make men not want to date me. Because god forbid men not find me attractive! Because clearly, from my conversation with them, what I wanted most of all was to find a man who wanted to get in my pants! Yeah!

Yeah.

It’s not really their fault. We live in a world where happiness is defined as falling in love, getting
married, etc. Not wanting another person in your life as your “other
half” is an alien concept. Media is flooded with messages of heterosexual normalcy, and now in very small pockets (hopefully growing, because it should! <3), a homosexual option for partnered normalcy. It’s shoved in our faces CONSTANTLY. Our society and government
have even set things up to benefit couples financially.

Which is fun now that I’m in my 30s and trying to save up for a future family, all by myself. And thankfully, even though they still avoid the word, over a decade later my parents do seem on board with the fact that I’m not pursuing relationships and are supportive of my life choices to save for a family by myself.

Listen. I am by no means saying that I am oppressed as a person the way people attracted to same-gendered people are. I’m not saying I’m oppressed the way the trans community is. I’m not saying any of that. But I AM dealing with a world where who I am is just not “okay”. Where who I am is wrong, where who I am needs to be fixed. Or, in many cases (most cases), where who I am DOES NOT EXIST. I don’t belong in the heterosexual world. I’m an outsider to it. But I’m also an outsider to any world that involves sex and attraction. And as a youth, I had NO WORD to use to describe who I was!

So when asexuals advocate for asexual inclusion in the LGBT community, it’s not because we want to weirdly steal thunder from anyone in your community, or because we want false pity for oppression we haven’t faced the way you have. It’s because we don’t want others to have to grow up the way we did.

We don’t want the world to continue not knowing about our existence. We want asexuality recognized publicly–both so asexuals can learn about themselves in an honest way, and so non-aces see us as legitimate humans. The LGBT world seemed like the natural place for us to go to to ask for inclusion. The place where others might understand what it’s like to grow up in a heterosexual world, as someone who is not. It’s who I first turned to when I discovered the word for myself, only to find immediate pain, rejection, and even mockery. I was horrified.

But I didn’t give up. I couldn’t give up. In 2005, I was in college and gave a talk at my university’s LGBT club. They had never heard of asexuality before, despite being part of a huge liberal university. It was the scariest thing I’d ever done in my life. I had to introduce the concept, and represent the entire community. And then answer a barrage of questions. Personal, personal questions, about my body, my life experiences, everything. And at the end, there was a long period silence. Until one brave person said:

“Wow. You have gone through the same things as us. You said you had some pamphlets about it? Can we put them in our office? People need to know about this. I can’t imagine growing up not knowing about homosexuality. As scary as it was for me, at least I had a word for it.”

I broke down crying and gave them all the pamphlets I had ordered. Many of them started crying, too. We became a blubbering mess in that meeting room. In that moment, I thought I had found a community who understood after all.

Did I? I suppose that’s up to you. But please, take some of this into consideration before you say that asexuals shouldn’t have a letter in your acronym, or should make their “own, separate” community. We’re unknown and invisible in so many ways, but nevertheless hurting in ways I think many of you can sympathize with and understand. It’s not that we’re attracted to the “wrong” sex or gender. It’s that we’re not attracted to the “right” one. And holy crap, the world just isn’t super friendly or understanding to people like that. Like us.

Thank you.

why is there star

lordsoth42:

nasa-official:

gas cloud get squished (gravitational collapse) then sometimes smaller elements can squish together to make bigger elements (nuclear fusion) and this continues as long as the smolest elements (hydrogen and helium) are in the core

NASA had learned the true language of the science side of Tumblr

Ianto: I killed three girls. Strangled them.
Jack: No.
REALLY AMAZING LIE DETECTOR TEST: He’s telling the truth.
Jack: No.
Ianto: But—
Jack: No.